We tend to be our own worst critics. Why is it so easy to love others but when it comes to loving ourselves, we can't seem to do it. Or at least not easily...
This is a huge issue.
Loving ourselves plays into every area of our lives.
This alone will impact what job you are willing to accept, what partner you will be with, what home you are willing to live in, what car you will drive, how much self-care you do, how well you treat your body, and literally everything else in your life.
I was talking with one of my new coaching clients last week about this very struggle. And as a result of her lack of self-love, she is settling for a broken marriage, working at a job that she has no passion for, and has poor health due to her lack of taking care of herself.
My heart broke for her.
This task of learning to love yourself may seem impossible.
I am here to tell you that it IS POSSIBLE. In fact, I can take you from Impossible, to Possible, into Probable, and end at Inevitable.
I am not here to sugar coat this and tell you that it is easy. It's not. Change is hard.
BUT! I am here to tell you that it is simple.
There is a process that I take clients through where each step is so doable.
In fact, the thing I hear most from my clients is "Wait, what? That's it?" And the answer is YES.
Our brains love to repeat patterns. They love to take the same action, think the same thoughts, and feel the same way day after day. This is how they feel safe.
You have the power to break that pattern. To create new thoughts and behaviors.
You are worth the change. You deserve more than what you have now. It is possible to have it.
Are you ready?
We all have a lot of areas in our lives we would want to change or improve.
It can be overwhelming.
Where do you even start?
Even if you find a place to start, is it even worth it when there’s so many things needing attention?
I want you to imagine that you are moving into a new house. You bring all of the boxes into your living room and open all of them. As you start to unpack all of the boxes at the same time with no rhyme or reason, it starts to feel extremely overwhelming. In fact, it’ll probably take you quite a long time to get them all unpacked.
Now, imagine you moved all of the boxes into your garage. You pick one box, bring it into your living room, open it up, then unpack one item at a time deciding whether to keep it and put it in its spot, keep it and create a spot, or get rid of it. This method it would not only be more efficient, and therefore faster, but it would also not be overwhelming.
This is exactly the method I teach my clients when “unpacking their boxes“ of problems in their lives.
This is how change is easy and more importantly, lasts.
How many boxes do you have? What is your method for unpacking them? Are you to the point you need a storage unit?
Let me help you unpack your boxes one at a time to create the lasting change you are looking for.
I recently realized that I was incorrectly wording a pretty vital piece of information.
If you have been following me for awhile now, that you know I am a fan of using the word EASY.
I claim on a regular basis that I am here to teach you how to make weight loss, finding food freedom, learning how to love your body, honoring your commitments, learning how to effectively plan, amongst a ton of other tools.. easy.
What I realized recently is that easy is really the wrong word. Simple is the accurate word.
Making changes are not easy. In fact, they can be pretty dang hard!
Our brains LOVE to repeat patterns and habits. They are designed this way to protect us by doing that which is familiar.
I am here to tell you that if you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to stay where you always end up.
This means that you will need to commit to making some changes even though the change may be hard.
I am here to help my clients take simple steps that they can feel good about (and not overwhelmed) immediately.
I work with my clients at the pace they are ready to move while ever so slightly nudging them in the direction towards their goals.
This journey is not easy... at least not at first. But it truly is SIMPLE... if you have the right tools.
The good news! Once you create your new habits or break the ones that no longer serve you, your new life is truly EASY because now this is your new norm. This is your brains new familiar.
Are you ready to schedule a free call with me to decide if coaching with me is right for you?
Today I had a call with a potential client and it got me thinking about confidence.
Confidence is often the thing we are trying to achieve when we think our goal is something else, such as weight loss.
We think we are trying to achieve weight loss when in reality, we are trying to gain confidence and we believe that weight loss is the answer.
What if I told you that you could become a confident person without ever losing weight?
What if I told you that if you did gain the confidence, the weight would naturally fall off if there is weight that needs to be shed?
Confidence stems from a lack of belief in ourselves. Once we learn how to think ahead to what we want our future to look like, create goals and plans to support that, and then (here’s the key) learn how to honor our commitments to ourselves, we begin to gain belief that we will take action and therefore we will reach our goals.
When you come to a place that you know you are 100% in control of where you are headed and you take 100% responsibility for where you are, you have the power.
You have the power to change any area that you want to and you know that you are the one that can make it happen.
This is how confidence starts.
You can call me a Weight Loss Coach, you can call me a Life Coach, you can even call me a Confidence Coach. They’re all pretty much the same thing. 😉
I am passionate about helping women to stop relying on willpower and to start preferring choices giving them the confidence and courage to do, be, and have everything that they want.
Do I count calories, points, or macros? No.
Do I plan out my food and then follow my plan? Yep!
We have two different types of brains.
We have our primal brain and we have our frontal cortex brain.
Our primal brain only thinks about the now. It is the one that served us back in the day that told us “See food, must eat.“ And “See lion, must run.“.
Although our primal brain has our survival in its best interest, it does not have our best interest for our goals.
Our frontal cortex brain is the brain that has our back. This is the brain that we use when we do goal setting or for making any plans for positive choices in the future.
This is the brain that is used to create my 24 hour plans.
Every day, I write down exactly what I am going to eat that day. This does not mean that I create a perfect meal plan filled with broccoli and chicken only to either feel deprived or to not follow the plan anyway. This means, that I write down exactly what I am actually going to eat. Sometimes, this includes chocolate, donuts, specialty coffees, ice cream, whatever. The point is, I write down what I am going to eat, and then I honor that commitment to myself.
The beauty of this plan is that your frontal cortex brain will never write down “tomorrow I am going to binge on donuts.“ However, if you don’t make a plan, the donut binge may in fact happen. What if your frontal cortex brain decided to eat one donut? How would you feel in the moment a donut is presented? Would you feel empowered and excited for the donut? Or would you feel like a “bad person“ for eating the donut? I have a feeling you would feel happy with the decision because it is part of the plan anyway.
At the end of each day, I look back at my plan and make note if I followed through on my commitment and if I didn’t, what are my excuses?
This simple and extremely easy way of tracking food is the perfect solution for not having to make decisions throughout your entire day of what and when you will eat.
Life is busy and we have enough decisions to make.
So, do yourself the favor of taking the time each day to spend two minutes the night before deciding then what you will eat the next day so that during the day you don’t have to think about it again.
One of the biggest mistakes, possibly THE biggest, people make when trying to lose weight is only focusing on the actions that they need to take and neglecting to work on their mindset.
This is a perfect recipe for failure. This could get you to where you want to go, but you will eventually gain the weight back.
Or you may never get to where you want to go in the first place because this type of plan requires nothing but willpower and white knuckling.
If you are somebody that has lost weight only to gain it back or if you are somebody who has attempted to lose weight numerous times only to “fail“ along the way, maybe you just haven’t been taught the way to achieve lasting weight loss.
As humans we have tons of thoughts.
Our thoughts are optional.
We have the ability to choose to think any thought. This does take work however.
Once we have a THOUGHT about something, this thought creates a feeling.
We are programmed to take ACTION or inaction based on how we FEEL about something.
So, if we are able to create and then think the thoughts that serve us, they will produce the feeling that we need in order to make the actions that are in line with our goals permanent.
If you are someone who struggles to lose weight and actually keep it off, I would be willing to bet that if I asked you the question “what do you think about weight loss?“ Your thought would not be producing a positive feeling within you.
This is where a coach comes into play.
I am not here to give you a diet or tell you what, when, or how much to eat.
I am here to show you your thoughts, teach you how to create new ones, and help you take control of your own life for good.
I am not here to give you a fish, I am here to teach you how to fish.
Oh how holidays have changed so much for the better.
When I was deep in my dieting days, holidays were not to great. In fact, they were stressful.
Social gatherings may be the more accurate place of stress and often holidays are filled with gatherings.
Holidays meant an abundant amount of indulging food and all kinds of yummy drinks to "tempt" me.
I felt like I had two choices to make.
1. Give in to the temptation just for this one day and go on a full fledge binge leaving me sick to my stomach, obsessed with the food, not present with the people surrounding me, and disappointed if the food available wasn't amazing.
Can you imagine how this experience left me feeling both physically and mentally?
or.. option 2. Use all the willpower I had to "stay on track". This led to me feeling deprived, angry, jealous os the others eating, and obsessing about the food. (And the crazy thing is that I found myself binging sometime in the near future anyway)
This option made me feel empowered to a certain extent, but mostly miserable about the day.
Holidays were just stressful.
Little did I know... there was a 3rd option.
Fast forward to today.
Today where I have food freedom.
Today where no food is off limits on any day, not just holidays.
The food just isn't as tempting anymore.
Don't get me wrong.. I LOVE food!
But now that I give myself UNLIMITED permission to eat What I want, When I want, and However much I want every single day, the desire or decision to binge to the point where I feel sick, just isn't there.
I can eat donuts every single day.. so why eat 5 today?
If you can relate to this post, just know that I feel you. I know exactly how a simple holiday such as Easter can have you stressed out.
Give yourself the gift of freedom. Enjoy today for many things and food may just be ONE of those things.
Enjoy the food, enjoy your family, enjoy the laughter and smiles. Life is about so much more than controlling our food.
I wish you all an amazing Easter Sunday! ❤
Although I talk a lot about weight loss and my personal transformation, I want to make sure that I am clearly sharing the message that I am after.
I believe that our bodies are brilliant.
They know exactly when to eat, how much to eat, and what to eat. We just need to learn how to listen.
As kids, we are all natural intuitive eaters. But some where along the way, so many of us fall prey to thinking that we do not have the answers and that we need some external source to tell us what, when, and how much to eat.
This could be in the form of:
-- along with a number of other methods.
What if I told you that you could achieve your ideal weight AND never track calories, points, or macros again?
I know that I was in the diet cycle for years and along with the cycles.. my weight followed. Up 20 pounds, down 20 pounds, up 20 pounds, down 20 pounds.
For over a year now, I have not tracked a single piece of food I have eaten. And guess what my weight has done? I range between .8 pounds. .8! So my weight has done nothing..
Never in my life did I think weight could stay so stable.
Our bodies love to stay stable. The constant up and down on the scale is not good for our bodies and can literally shorten your life.
The way you end the weight cycle?
You engage in habits that you will continue for the rest of your life. One of my mentors uses the phrase "Lose it the way you will live it". And I couldn't agree more.
I am hear to teach you how to start tuning into your body so that you can hear what it is telling you.
Now let me be clear.. Not everyone needs to or will lose weight. Maybe you are already at the weight that you are supposed to be. However, many of my clients do lose weight as a side effect of honoring their bodies instead of attempting to beat them into submission.
Along the way towards tuning in and listening, we also work on self acceptance working towards the goal of self love. This can be achieved AT ANY SIZE and is available to you right NOW.
My mission is to help women gain the courage and confidence to be, do, and have all that they desire. And for many women, their body image, self doubt, self consciousness, energy, or self worth are what is holding them back.
Let me help you achieve everything you have dreamed of.
You are worth it. <3
Message me today to set up a call to see if working together is a good fit for us.
One of the very first reasons I wanted to lose weight was because I hated the way I looked in pictures.
It wasn't to improve my health or any "worthy" reason. It was that I wanted to like the way I looked.
Petty? Maybe. But did it work to get my a$$ off the couch and make some changes? Absolutely.
At first, I could take about 20 pictures and position myself differently, change how much I was tilting my head, hold the camera up really high for my selfies, etc.. then finally I would like a picture... enough.
Then all of a sudden, one day (or at least that how it felt) there was no angle or amount of pictures to get my approval.
This is exactly why I do not have very many "before" pictures. (take the “before” ladies!)
Fast forward to now where I pay to have professional photoshoots (Did you see my adorable 30th Birthday Photoshoot??). Not to mention how often I take selfies, ask strangers to take my picture, and eagerly jump into other peoples pictures.
(I’m excited to get the pictures back from the photo shoot I had done this week by Jackie Phairow Photography! She’s AMAZING!) 📸
I am not saying that I like every single picture of myself... but I sure like a lot of them! And even the ones that I don't like do not have me beating myself up. I just think something like "meh, not feeling that one" The End. No mind drama. No stress about someone else posting a "bad" picture and tagging me in it.
So, what ever your reason is for wanting to lose weight, it is the right reason. If you try to pick a reason that isn't really resonating with you, that won't motivate lasting change anyway.
To continue remembering how far I have come.. this week I took the time to write a list of transformations in my life that are a direct result of my initial decision to lose weight.
I have achieved and experienced so much more than a physical transformation.
My life has completely changed.
I have completely changed.
It’s easy for us to live our lives everyday and miss the small changes adding up to big results.
I find myself falling into thinking thoughts like “Ya? So what I run multiple times per week. It’s just what I do. I mean, I could do so much more. It’s nothing.”
If you would have asked me about running 7 years ago, I would have laughed. “Me, run?” 😂
We need to take the time to really realize where we started and how far we have come.
I now have the courage and confidence to pursue all that I want to do, be, and have. Do you?
I bet every one of you could write your own list of transformations and I encourage you to!
What a fun gift I gave myself.